Am an Accidental and Frequent Participant in Things of Complete Oddity.

Second blog post in two days.  Am very official Blogger Person.

People have told me to only update my blog when I have something to say.  Unfortunately, I ALWAYS have something to say, and am not particularly adept at deciding what warrants being said.  (Once, I told a black person that February was not a real month, and the calendar should be dispensed of it entirely – forgetting February is Black History Month.  Oops.)

At any rate, on to more serious issues.

I have a glitter infestation problem.

They say to know thy enemy (I think, otherwise it’s just me saying it).  This is what I know:

Point of Origin: My body, after being coated in it at Carnival in Gualeguaychu.

Current Location: Everywhere.

Extraction Difficulty: High.

Extraction Strategy: ???

This is becoming a sincerely strange issue, as it literally occupies every space in my room.  I wake up every morning coated in the stuff, which, considering the current Twilight craze, is a bit frightening, as I am concerned I will be accosted by adolescent girls begging me to turn them into vampires.

Now, I may participate in questionable activities (swinging at the park when nearly two decades old, playing Pokemon on a regular basis, frequently forgetting how to speak the English language), but biting children is not among them.

I take solace in the fact that these sparkles seem to be determined to stick to my friends, too.  Of course, none of us have mentioned it.  However, I’ve noticed their skin seems to be more dazzling than usual.  Haven’t said anything, though, as do not want them to feel awkward.  Just stare at their flesh instead.

To conclude, I am about to call a Glitter Exterminator.

I am often asked by innocent acquaintances how I like school down here.

“IT SUCKS!” I always respond.

Overwhelmed by both my poise and stellar vocabulary usage, the topic often switches back to the weather.

I do have fairly legitimate facts that support this statement.

Firstly, school is FIVE (5) hours a day.  What a waste!  I could be running a marathon during that time!

Secondly, for some completely unfathomable reason, any social skills I claim to possess disappear once I enter the room.  Suddenly, I’m transformed into some form of a Shadowy Lonesome Hobbit Person.  Just sit sullenly at my desk until it’s time to go.  Quite a strange phenomena.  Fear that rest of class believes me to be entirely psychotic.

However, do not actually care what most of them think, for thirdly, I do not care for the company of some of my classmates.  Some speak Spanish better than me, some think they speak Spanish better than me, and some are just inherently obnoxious creatures.

We often have to read aloud from our books.  I never like doing this, therefore, I am often chosen.  I oblige, and bleat morosely through the text.  Halfway through, I am accosted by shouts of “we can’t hear!”  Now.  Before my mother gets too excited about the rest of the world (literally) agreeing that I mumble, I must inform you that this also happens to my entire half of the classroom.  There’s an air conditioner unit above our heads, which effectively blocks out any type of noise.

This always means I have to go back to the beginning, and attempt to read loudly in Spanish, which is quite like a gorilla trying to form words. 

WHYY do they complain that they can’t hear me???  I assure you, I am not worth being heard!  Also, none of us can hear them, but we just kindly read along in our own little books that have THE EXACT SAME SENTENCES.

No me gusta la escuela.

Translation: I am a rhinoceros.

School is about to get a bit more interesting though, as we have an oral presentation on Wednesday for which we chose topics today.

It would appear as though I have inadvertently chosen a porn star.

I cannot be certain on this point, as my research techniques are questionable (Wikipedia and prayer).  It is, however, looking rather likely, as most everything alludes to his fame based on his “erotic movies.”

Come to think of it, I vaguely remember my professor laughing when she wrote the name on the board and commenting, “this is for a good laugh!”

Hmmm.

I do not think I know how to properly research a porn star.  Am now very afraid to venture further into my investigation.

This is a wee bit awkward.