Hat.

Think am world’s worst blogger.

As it has been quite some time since updates, I will begin with the most important.

I have purchased a hat!

This is not just any headgear.  It is gangster (just like me!).  More importantly, it is of the Red Bull persuasion.

Think I will wear it in my wedding.

Speaking of which, I have recently decided that any Potential Mate must be put through a variety of tests before any sort of arrangement will be met.  (Naturally, these are merely for others, as I have already found my perfect match in Lee Pace.)

You may first ask yourself the following: What is the most important skill a person can possess?

You’re right.

Walrus tracking.

Kickboxing is also desirable.

But such talents are not enough.  One must be fairly competent in the art of museum curation, capable of running a mile in under an hour, and have graduated from Shark Whispering Academy.

Mr. Pace qualifies in all the above.

His cardboard cutout is also an excellent dancer.

Drinking apple juice prompts me to make thoroughly bad decisions.  I do not understand this.  It seems a bit unfair, really.  Shouldn’t I be able to enjoy a deliciously childish beverage without suffering socially humiliating consequences?

Evidently not.

My birthday is exactly one month from today.  How thrilling!

Hope I get a pony.

For those of you who are not certain, this is not said in jest.

I honestly would like to get a pony.  It would be nice if it were wearing a bow.

Also on my wish list are a German Shepherd and a tiny giraffe.

Both would also be bow-toting.

Often I find horse owners who would be willing to trade their equines for a yak.  This boggles me.  I think I might like to get a yak to give them, but then I must consider why they are making the switch to yaks.  What if I fell in love with my yak and was unable to give it up in the end?

That would be sad.

Maybe I am secretly a Yak Whisperer!  And then I could ride it.  I think I would enjoy that thoroughly. 

I could put a bow on a yak.

I do not know any gang signs.  I am quite familiar with the peace sign, however.  Too bad now I look like a blonde Japanese tourist in a Red Bull hat.

This blog is rather lame, and I apologize for that.  It is a mere gesture toward normalcy. 

Never fear.  Awesomeness will someday soon strike again.